Two things that should never be done in the ten minutes before leaving for the airport:

1)   Paint your nails

2)   Put on mascara

With my face smeared in black, red on the floor, red on my shoes, red on my suitcase, red on my pants, red on the zipper of my pants, I asked Mr. Levine to assist only to then swipe all five of my fingers across our dresser. I now look like a fashion terrorist with black tears—so stupid—blurring the run to the car.

You know that India Arie song where she sings that sometimes she paints her toes and sometimes she “don’t.” Secret Ten, Revealed. I don’t.