I’ve known the Accountant’s Wife since I was fourteen. I love her. She is one of my very best friends, and yet she only contacts me once every couple of years. I see her at Christmas because I call her until she picks up. When she picks up, we can go on talking for hours, if she picks up.

I got an email from her a week ago that I haven’t responded to, which is highly unusual for me. She wrote to the Fisherman’s Wife, too, who also didn’t respond, which is highly unusual for her. It turns out she sent it to the wrong address for the Fisherman’s Wife, so I’m the asshole that didn’t respond.

Why haven’t I written? Secret Twelve, Revealed. Because this is how it ended:

[Fisherman’s Wife], are you pregnant?
[Mrs. Levine], are you pregnant?
Just wondering, I could use some good news.