**This is the post mentioned in To Be Ashamed, reproduced here with my arrogant comparison and all. At the urging of Mrs. Pierce and Kathleen, I decided that it feels important to be authentically myself as much as possible, even if you think me hideously full of myself. So here goes …

I was at the gym yesterday when this woman got on the cross-trainer next to me, staring right at me for a good few minutes. I thought she was just a little weird but twenty-five minutes later she was still staring, intently. I had this experience three months ago, but in reverse with me doing the staring. Remember Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) from Lost? Yep, pretty sure that was him on the cross-trainer next to me, wearing sunglasses while working out at seven o’clock in the morning. Some semi-famous people do workout at my gym. Did she think I was one of them? But I’m no movie star shape.

The staring was getting to me, so I got off the cross-trainer, and so did she. I got a new towel from the rack and so did she. I got a drink of water and so did she. When I went to the weight room, she walked right up to me before turning away at the last possible second. Who did she think I was?

I’m going to flatter myself and say she thought I was my fav TV star of all time, Christina Hendricks of Mad Men. The curvy Joan Holloway transformed my world. Watching her move through the office, watching men go gaga over a curvy girl, well, it has made me feel damn right fine. But if the lady did think I was her, she’d be in for a big surprise. Secret Twenty-one, Revealed. I’m a size ten. Secret Twenty-two, Revealed. Christina Hendricks is a size six.

Absolute shocker, right? I was with WifeWithAWife at the time and we both agreed, she’s curvy but definitely a six. They’d already wrapped on Season Three of Mad Men so maybe she slimmed down for her wedding, but she was surprisingly tiny. That’s okay, she’s still my girl. I’m forever changed for the better by seeing my curves in a whole new way. Now I just pretend that the cameras don’t lie and that she’s just like me, a sexy little perfect ten. And if she’s had too much holiday fun, a sexy little perfect twelve.