I just read the findings of an interesting survey on marriage and budgeting, commissioned by fellow blogger Matt Bell. According to the survey results of over 600 married couples, agreeing to a detailed budget with your spouse then living according to that budget creates less fights about finances. I say, hmm.

Matt says, “I’m not suggesting that couples spend Valentine’s Day setting up a budget. However, before this year’s roses are wilted it would be a great idea to set up another date—a money date—to talk about how they will use their income for the rest of this year and start putting together a plan.”

A wise therapist once told me that couples fight about three things: Money, In-laws, and Sex. Secret Twenty-Nine, Revealed. In my house, we don’t fight about money. According to my family and friends, I had some radical ideas about finances when my husband and I got married. I thought we should have separate personal checking accounts and two joint accounts—one checking account for paying our bills together and one savings account for building our nest egg. Whatever we wanted to do with our own money beyond those commitments was our own beezwax. And it still is.

At the time, a close friend told me that my relationship to love and money would eventually erode my marriage. A cousin insinuated that I didn’t trust my future husband if I wouldn’t agree to throw all of our money in one, shared pot. I thought I was being sensible and keeping our pillars (riffing off of WifeWithAWife’s excellent point) standing upright so together we could support the roof. (Hey, maybe that’s a better marriage analogy than the backpack. I’m getting there.) Now, the individual and shared accounts seems to be the standard for couples, but six years ago it was scandalous. Basically, you’ve got to go with your gut.

We don’t have a detailed budget, but we also don’t fight about money. We’ve got a master plan on how money moves in and out of our household. We don’t use credit cards. If we need it, we save for it. Suze Orman says that student loans are acceptible debt since they pay for your personal and professional development, and my husband and I go a bit hog wild with student loans. But we don’t fight about it. If he wants to buy a new stereo, he knows he has to come up with the money on his own. If I want a trip to Brazil (I do! I do!), I know I’ve got to come up with the funds. When our car gets hit by an uninsured motorist, we pull from our joint savings account. It works for us.

The study is intereting and worth a read, especially if money is your issue. You can check it out on Matt’s blog, MattAboutMoney.com. And if your fights are about sex and in-laws, well, you know you’re in good company.